Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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