He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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