thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
