True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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