Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
