Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
