In the future we'll all be gay
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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