She announced her abortion via fbk
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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