dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I skipped work to stalk him.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
