I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
