Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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