Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
