We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
