hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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