He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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