we're chasing vodka with high fives
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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