at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
