I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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