I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
