Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
