i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
