Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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