making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Randomize
