Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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