You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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