Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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