Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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