What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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