Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
