Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
