Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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