Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
