Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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