Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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