we have pet lesbian snakes
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
