if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
