mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
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