"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
