I must be too annoying 4 u.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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