dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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