My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
