Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
