I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
BRING THE BAGELS
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
