the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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