Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
