I just threw up on my dentist
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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