if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
