doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
