Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
