Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
