so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
